Freeloaders Inc. founded 20XX by Real Phony

Ways to achieve freeloading nirvana:

Situation 1: Presentation

• When working in a group it is probable that only 1 or 2 speakers would present before the panel. Feign bad oratorial skills. Stammer, stutter and mess up the lines. Ingratiate group members by praising their presentation skills.
  
• If it becomes imperative to present, take up the conclusion or introduction part.
• Crack Jokes, smile, make audience laugh...this kills time and you need not work too much on content.
• Use colourful, animated slides which take forever to appear on the screen.
• Inundate you speech with buzzwords and mindless jargon. Take Pointy haired boss's help or turn to the internet for help.
• Name-drop! Use quotes and sayings of rich and famous. Even if it is a presentation on market segmentation in Lithuania, you can always quote Bertrand Russell, Shaw or DeBono.

Situation 2: Group Assignment

• As soon as the assignment is given, be proactive and divide the work amongst group members. Take your part home and sleep on it.
• Download random search results related to the topic, while watching movies or playing games, and forward the documents to the team. Don't forget to include your unique insight (4 lines of gibberish) in the mail explaining the shortcomings in the downloaded stuff.
• NEVER take up the consolidation part.
  
• Be present for the group meeting before everyone else and leave early. This way you can avoid extra work when group arrives on a conclusion.
• Ascribe any screw-ups to the another person in the group.
• Finally, when everything fails ask yourself what would Wally do?