Phony's Survival Manual(TM) for ruthless lectures

ruth·less
–adjective
without pity or compassion; cruel; merciless:

lec·ture
–noun
1. a speech read or delivered before an audience or class, esp. for instruction or to set forth some subject
2. a speech of warning or reproof as to conduct; a long, tedious reprimand.

–verb (used with object)
3. to give a lecture or series of lectures
4. to rebuke or reprimand at some length

ruth·less lec·ture
-noun
1. endless monotonous drawl, usually one sided and non-interactive; with frequent uses of jargon and technical insights; usually supported by cluttered, animated PowerPoint slideshow with too many slides containing graphs, charts and the likes.

Phony would dream of his cubicle whenever he was going through the ordeal of one such lecture. The happy times when he would take frequent coffee breaks, walk to the loo whenever he felt like, browse the internet and watch the silent traffic go by, all day long. He was fortunate to have a cubicle next to a project which had some of the cutest girls in the office and he would intermittently peek into their cubicle, sigh and admire. On good days he would take long lunch breaks with his teammates in the mall nearby and play a round or two of TT too.

"... system for collecting and exploiting information on existing and potential custo...." He observed the scene around with his bleary eyes, while cleaning the pool of saliva formed on the notebook on which he was sleeping. He saw Big Beeny next to him, chin resting precariously on hand, swaying back and forth. Reminded him of Rodin's Thinker with clothes. Tall Tony was sleeping with his mouth open, facing the ceiling and appeared like someone who just saw a UFO in the sky. Students in the front rows were either taking notes, fighting sleep or doing both of these together. Phony started scribbling on his notebook:

survive the ruthless lectures, tips:

1. reach early and find the strategic spot to sit, depends entirely on the prof. if she/he is a locomotive ( moves up n down the aisles) then sit in the front most right/left corner seats. if she/he is a statute in the park (stands behind the podium and hardly moves) then choose the last few benches. if she/he is a satellite (moves all over the classroom) then sit back and enjoy, there's nothing u can do.

2. Avoid sitting next to wisecrackers or doubtful students.

3. newspaper are too noisy n clumsy, carry a book.

4. never forget to carry your laptop n make sure it is always charged fully.

5. install good games in ur mobile, provided u have one.

6. buy one of the behind ear headphones so that, you can listen to music while sleeping.

7. finally exercise and keep ur muscles strong...it helps u sleep in awkward positions.